elfwench: (who me?)

After going to bed last night full of determination for a productive day of house cleaning, today I woke up full of feh and meh. I am not in a bad mood, but I'm not my smiley self either. I'm trying to figure out why my get up and go got up and left, taking my good cheer with it; but as I consider it, though I'm not sad, I believe I do feel the edges of depression in this apathy. I think, honestly, I've felt it coming on for a couple of days and this is the first day it's been palpable enough to identify. And it's my own doing as I've not been as consistant with remembering to take my meds lately.  The downside of the meds working being that when I am functional on them I will sometimes forget that I need them to be functional: the upside of the meds working is that when I do start to slip, I can identify it sooner. I did take them today, and yesterday too, so I should be back to par in a few days.

As for today, I will do what I can, and forgive myself for what I cannot get done today, and go to bed with the same determination that I did last night. And I give myself a pat on the back for successfully getting out of bed and dressed this morning rather than rolling back over as I wanted to do. Today I will be gentle with myself while trying to be as productive as possible.

Now for the updates...

Kneedful things
Wednesday I went to see Dr. W, knee surgeon extraordinaire, and I inquired as to having the hardware removed from my knee. Once he was done admiring the openness of my knee space on the x-rays, I couldn't get a straight answer from him as to whether I should or not as he played the roll of Switzerland in his total neutrality of, "It's your leg, your decision." He, as usual, explained the risks of any surgery are infection and problems with anesthesia, and said it might not remove all my pain. But then, there are always those caveats, aren't there?

So, we are looking at middle of August for the surgery. I've been reading up on Tib-fib fracture hardware removal, and I'm seeing all sorts of positive comments. As the holes from where the screws were removed will leave my tibia weakened, I'll have to be uber careful to avoid refracture the first 6 to 8 weeks until new bone grows to fill those openings.

I'm nervous, but it's still a ways away and the surgery date isn't set yet. I still have GenCon to attend the first week of August, and I'm so looking forward to that.

Choppin' at da maul
I went to the mall on Thursday as it was a fine day, not raining and not blisteringly hot. Took the bus. I was strapped into my power chair which was strapped tightly to the bus. It was my first time being in that perspective, and I could feel some annoyance from the fellow passengers, but I just smiled at them. It wasn't that long ago that I was one of them, feeling the same way.

Rather than turning on Fry Rd. and going around the mall to where it's time stop is, the went past the mall into Greenwood, turning onto Smith Valley Rd. before turning back north on US 31. Road was out, the driver said. Well, it was a pretty drive and I didn't stress over it. And we did end up back at the time stop outside the mall, so no harm done.

I did some window shopping, etc. and found that people really didn't treat me adversely. The security guard on his Segway even joked, "I'll race you!" (He would have won, my baby only goes a max of 4 mph, which is a brisk march. Sometimes I wish it went faster. There are some that go 6 mph, and I've heard of one by Permobil that goes 11 mph. ZOOOOM!

A blessedly quiet weekend
Thankfully, Crazy Neighbor and her hubby were out of town for the weekend. His son from a previous marriage is hospitalized due to an accident and so the lot of them went to Kentucky or Tennessee to see him. Left Friday night, returned yesterday evening. It was like a little vacation with no screaming from her or the kids. I rather enjoyed it.

Friday night I joined [livejournal.com profile] serok42 and some friends of ours online for some City of Heroes fun. We were supposed to be doing the Positron Task Force, but two of the folks who were on Comcrap Comcast were having connection problems so we put that off for another day and ran missions instead. I had a blast!

Increasing my geek cred
Friday I got a call from Patrick, inviting me to come over on Saturday to play Settlers of Catan over at his and [livejournal.com profile] jarlina's place. We were to game at 8:00, but Patrick called me at 6:30 and asked if he could come and pick me up then. So when I got there, we had a while until Scott arrived. We dined on chili and watched an episode of Dr. Who in the meantime, and I became intrigued.

Once Scott got there, we ran through a practice game of Settlers of Catan so I could get the gist of it. Once we played a real game, I really enjoyed it, and came close to winning. I made a few n00b mistakes at the beginning until I caught on. Everyone look out next time we play!

Then after the game, the four of us sat and watched the episode of Dr. Who again, and the one that came after it since it was a two parter. And I can now say I have been assimilated by The Doctor. So I've borrowed most of Season One of the new Dr. Who from Patrick & [livejournal.com profile] jarlina.

Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY!
The online world was not doing it for me yesterday, not even City of Heroes, so Sunday was phone call day for me. I called my son Robert and caught up with him. Then phoned [livejournal.com profile] chorus_of_chaos and we had a nice chat. And after that, my Aunt Willie and I spoke for a while.

I got done with all that, and checked my email and a guy I met on PlentyOfFish.com had sent me a PubMED article I might be interested in, dealing with a possible link to mycoplasmal infection in some cases of ataxia. He also included his phone number in case I wanted to discuss the article with him. I was sorely tempted to call him and speak to him for the first time, but I was so phoned-out by then that shyness one out for the moment. I may try calling him tonight. For the curious, he's a 50 year old (good looking, if his picture is for real) massage therapist in Carmel, Indiana. I don't know where this is going right now, if anywhere, but this is the furthest any of my online dating relationships has gone, and thinking of him makes me smile.

On that happy note, I'm going to bring this post to a close (It's taken me hours to write this as I have had the attention span of a butterfly today and have been flitting from one thing to another during the writing of this, between breakinging to read LJ posts and being distracted into surfing expeditions on various things that come to mind.) Now time to put Timmy down and see what I can get accomplished this afternoon.

elfwench: (Default)

After going to bed last night full of determination for a productive day of house cleaning, today I woke up full of feh and meh. I am not in a bad mood, but I'm not my smiley self either. I'm trying to figure out why my get up and go got up and left, taking my good cheer with it; but as I consider it, though I'm not sad, I believe I do feel the edges of depression in this apathy. I think, honestly, I've felt it coming on for a couple of days and this is the first day it's been palpable enough to identify. And it's my own doing as I've not been as consistant with remembering to take my meds lately.  The downside of the meds working being that when I am functional on them I will sometimes forget that I need them to be functional: the upside of the meds working is that when I do start to slip, I can identify it sooner. I did take them today, and yesterday too, so I should be back to par in a few days.

As for today, I will do what I can, and forgive myself for what I cannot get done today, and go to bed with the same determination that I did last night. And I give myself a pat on the back for successfully getting out of bed and dressed this morning rather than rolling back over as I wanted to do. Today I will be gentle with myself while trying to be as productive as possible.

Now for the updates...

Kneedful things
Wednesday I went to see Dr. W, knee surgeon extraordinaire, and I inquired as to having the hardware removed from my knee. Once he was done admiring the openness of my knee space on the x-rays, I couldn't get a straight answer from him as to whether I should or not as he played the roll of Switzerland in his total neutrality of, "It's your leg, your decision." He, as usual, explained the risks of any surgery are infection and problems with anesthesia, and said it might not remove all my pain. But then, there are always those caveats, aren't there?

So, we are looking at middle of August for the surgery. I've been reading up on Tib-fib fracture hardware removal, and I'm seeing all sorts of positive comments. As the holes from where the screws were removed will leave my tibia weakened, I'll have to be uber careful to avoid refracture the first 6 to 8 weeks until new bone grows to fill those openings.

I'm nervous, but it's still a ways away and the surgery date isn't set yet. I still have GenCon to attend the first week of August, and I'm so looking forward to that.

Choppin' at da maul
I went to the mall on Thursday as it was a fine day, not raining and not blisteringly hot. Took the bus. I was strapped into my power chair which was strapped tightly to the bus. It was my first time being in that perspective, and I could feel some annoyance from the fellow passengers, but I just smiled at them. It wasn't that long ago that I was one of them, feeling the same way.

Rather than turning on Fry Rd. and going around the mall to where it's time stop is, the went past the mall into Greenwood, turning onto Smith Valley Rd. before turning back north on US 31. Road was out, the driver said. Well, it was a pretty drive and I didn't stress over it. And we did end up back at the time stop outside the mall, so no harm done.

I did some window shopping, etc. and found that people really didn't treat me adversely. The security guard on his Segway even joked, "I'll race you!" (He would have won, my baby only goes a max of 4 mph, which is a brisk march. Sometimes I wish it went faster. There are some that go 6 mph, and I've heard of one by Permobil that goes 11 mph. ZOOOOM!

A blessedly quiet weekend
Thankfully, Crazy Neighbor and her hubby were out of town for the weekend. His son from a previous marriage is hospitalized due to an accident and so the lot of them went to Kentucky or Tennessee to see him. Left Friday night, returned yesterday evening. It was like a little vacation with no screaming from her or the kids. I rather enjoyed it.

Friday night I joined [livejournal.com profile] serok42 and some friends of ours online for some City of Heroes fun. We were supposed to be doing the Positron Task Force, but two of the folks who were on Comcrap Comcast were having connection problems so we put that off for another day and ran missions instead. I had a blast!

Increasing my geek cred
Friday I got a call from Patrick, inviting me to come over on Saturday to play Settlers of Catan over at his and [livejournal.com profile] jarlina's place. We were to game at 8:00, but Patrick called me at 6:30 and asked if he could come and pick me up then. So when I got there, we had a while until Scott arrived. We dined on chili and watched an episode of Dr. Who in the meantime, and I became intrigued.

Once Scott got there, we ran through a practice game of Settlers of Catan so I could get the gist of it. Once we played a real game, I really enjoyed it, and came close to winning. I made a few n00b mistakes at the beginning until I caught on. Everyone look out next time we play!

Then after the game, the four of us sat and watched the episode of Dr. Who again, and the one that came after it since it was a two parter. And I can now say I have been assimilated by The Doctor. So I've borrowed most of Season One of the new Dr. Who from Patrick & [livejournal.com profile] jarlina.

Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY!
The online world was not doing it for me yesterday, not even City of Heroes, so Sunday was phone call day for me. I called my son Robert and caught up with him. Then phoned [livejournal.com profile] chorus_of_chaos and we had a nice chat. And after that, my Aunt Willie and I spoke for a while.

I got done with all that, and checked my email and a guy I met on PlentyOfFish.com had sent me a PubMED article I might be interested in, dealing with a possible link to mycoplasmal infection in some cases of ataxia. He also included his phone number in case I wanted to discuss the article with him. I was sorely tempted to call him and speak to him for the first time, but I was so phoned-out by then that shyness one out for the moment. I may try calling him tonight. For the curious, he's a 50 year old (good looking, if his picture is for real) massage therapist in Carmel, Indiana. I don't know where this is going right now, if anywhere, but this is the furthest any of my online dating relationships has gone, and thinking of him makes me smile.

On that happy note, I'm going to bring this post to a close (It's taken me hours to write this as I have had the attention span of a butterfly today and have been flitting from one thing to another during the writing of this, between breakinging to read LJ posts and being distracted into surfing expeditions on various things that come to mind.) Now time to put Timmy down and see what I can get accomplished this afternoon.

June 2013

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