Here it is, my first LJ Idol and the first post, actually Post 0, is my introduction. Introductions are always so hard to do. How does one summarize personality and a lifetime in one post? What information is vital and what isn't? What will intrigue and what will bore?
Anyway, more to the point...
My name is Morgan. No, not my legal name, but it's the name I've been called for the last 18 years or so, a name of my choosing. I loved the name from the time I was a teenager. I remember there was a female character on Guiding Light whose name was Morgan, a girl with strawberry blond hair that was brought on for the teenage plot lines running within the show. I've always been a fan of elves and things medieval, and Morgan Le Fey was my first BBS handle in the early 90's.. As such, it was what people called me, including my second husband, and it feels much more comfortable than my birth name. One day I hope to get it legally changed.
I'm just over a month away from 50 years old, though I don't look it. (The picture in the icon here was taken just this summer.) I love birthdays, I'm like a little kid about my birthday.
I'm a mother of two now grown children who I love very much. I am very close with my son, Robert, who will be 24 tomorrow. He is more than a son, he's also a very good friend.
I really wish I were closer with my daughter, Tamara, who will be 27 on Sunday. We are currently estranged, by Tamara's choice though not a day goes by that I don't think of her or her daughter, my granddaughter Akane who just turned 2. (It's been over a year since I've seen them.) Despite everything, I love Tamara very much and hope that one day we can have a relationship, a healthy one this time, and be as family again.
I've been married twice. The first time to Alan, Tamara and Robert's father. That relationship was difficult at best, and at worst was abusive. We were married for 12 years, though an emotional divorce happened years before that.
My second marriage was, to date, the love of my life. He went by Keeper and many here on LJ knew him as well. We were together 14 years, married for 10. Just before our 10th anniversary, in 2007, he confessed he was having an affair with a woman at work and he ended up leaving me for her. It was my hope that we could remain friends, but he has ceased all contact with me. Still, if he needs a friend, I'd be there for him.
Oh my LJ you will see the Free Text box says,I feel deeply.
I care deeply.
I desire deeply.
I will always tell the truth.
That is who I am.
I expect nothing less of you.
That pretty much sums up how I am about life and friendship. Sometimes I'm too truthful. If you don't want to know the answer, don't ask. But I do love deeply with all my heart. I also feel and care deeply, sometimes to my detriment. And desires. Yes, I am desirous of many things. I have a love affair with Amazon.com and browsing through it, adding to my Amazon.com Wish List
. It's my biggest weakness, next to chocolate. But that list gives me hope and things to dream for.
I currently live alone with 3 cats, on my own for the first time in my life, in a mobile home in Indianapolis. It's been quite a wild ride, and quite an adjustment. Currently I'm on SSI, as I've not worked enough to collect full Social Security Disability. But I'm looking for work.
I have many health problems. The major ones are that I have Crohn's Disease (which affects the intestines), and I'm disabled with Cerebellar Ataxia of unknown flavor, which is probably one of several triggers for Keeper leaving me among other things. They thought it was Friedreich's Ataxia, but my current neurologist said no, I only have one defective copy of the gene - not 2 - so it's something else. What that means, regardless, is basically that I have a progressive disorder of balance and coordination. If I am not using my forearm crutch, one might think I was drunk. I also fall easily. To further aid my mobility, I have braces on my lower legs, called AFO's, which stands for Ankle Foot Orthotics. I do not let that get me down, though. It's just another thing.
I don't drive, though I am licensed to drive with hand controls. Hopefully one day I'll be able to get a car that can be fit with hand controls. I get about on foot or by bus.
I also am a gamer geek. I'm a member of the RPGA and I also play in the 4th Edition Eberron game that jarlina
's husband runs. I believe one can never have too many dice. :) I also play City of Heroes/City of Villains online. GenCon, the international gaming convention that comes to Indianapolis every August, is my favorite time of year.
Most of my social life, when I'm not gaming with friends, is online. All hail the Internet!
I also like to diddle around with 3D graphics using DAZ Studio
. I use it to make likenesses of my D&D characters. My computer is about 8 years old or so, a Pentium 4, and can barely run the program, though. It needs replaced. Big on my list of desires, but needs come before desires. It will come in time. But yes, I confess that I do tend to gripe about my computer a lot.
Spiritually, I'm more spiritual than religious, holding to the universal truths which are the one constant in most faiths. I believe in Harm Least. I believe in Karma. And I believe in The Law of Attraction: it works, and I'm grateful for it. Truly, the last few years has taught me how far attitude can affect your whole world. But I could fill a post on that alone.
That is all I can think of right now. If anyone has any further questions, feel free to ask.