elfwench: (Default)
Robert was filled with joie de vivre, excitement for life, yesterday all day long. His lament of the past week and a half of, "I just want to go home," has instead turned to, a happy sing-song of "I get to go home tomorrow!" I can only imagine what he'll be like today.

He is so grateful for life and excited for life. After our talks on Monday afternoon and evening, he has accepted what he did, no longer in denial, but still not understanding why. But he's thrilled to be alive and be given a second chance and live it up as much as he can.

"I've got my life back," he said, "My life begins tomorrow!"


Myself, I'm excited, too. After all, I went to bed after 11:00 and I woke up at 3:00, then gave in and got up at 4:00 after an hour's tossing and turning.

I'm also scared. Hoping he doesn't bite off more than he can chew. I had cautioned him on Monday that he kind of has to wade in, but the way he was talking yesterday, he wants to jump straight in.

I realize I can't pad the world for him, much as I would like to. But I almost lost him. And so a big part of me is scared.

But truthfully, I'm excited, too.

Today. Robert's life begins today.
elfwench: (Default)
Robert was filled with joie de vivre, excitement for life, yesterday all day long. His lament of the past week and a half of, "I just want to go home," has instead turned to, a happy sing-song of "I get to go home tomorrow!" I can only imagine what he'll be like today.

He is so grateful for life and excited for life. After our talks on Monday afternoon and evening, he has accepted what he did, no longer in denial, but still not understanding why. But he's thrilled to be alive and be given a second chance and live it up as much as he can.

"I've got my life back," he said, "My life begins tomorrow!"


Myself, I'm excited, too. After all, I went to bed after 11:00 and I woke up at 3:00, then gave in and got up at 4:00 after an hour's tossing and turning.

I'm also scared. Hoping he doesn't bite off more than he can chew. I had cautioned him on Monday that he kind of has to wade in, but the way he was talking yesterday, he wants to jump straight in.

I realize I can't pad the world for him, much as I would like to. But I almost lost him. And so a big part of me is scared.

But truthfully, I'm excited, too.

Today. Robert's life begins today.
elfwench: (Default)
One of the Deep Talks we had yesterday was about how he wanted to know about how he got to there, what triggered this because, “That’s so not like me.” And he asked what happened that day. So I told him, and he remembered about the car business, but not about his state of mind over it. “I did this about a car title? That’s stupid!” So we talked about sometimes when you are under a lot of stress, all it takes is one more thing to push you over the edge.

His big stress currently is that he just wants his life back. He wants to remember and to get his life back. I told him he will, but it will take time. I told him it was akin to having two broken legs and learning to swim again, can’t just jump back into the deep end, you have to start by wading in.

He took the poster board with the collage of pictures of him, both with and without his friends, in it. And pulled out the rest of the pictures and sorted through them, pulling out pictures of friends. “This is my life,” he said, “These people are my life, my friends, I want this back.” He even put up a picture of me, the one he took when we went to Cheeseburger in Paradise. I asked him if I was his friend, and he nodded sincerely and said, “Yes,” we both got choked up then.

Then we laughed when we noticed that the t-shirt he was wearing in several of the pictures had the No Smoking symbol on it, captioned with, “There are cooler ways to die.” Yes, we have a morbid sense of humor in our family, it’s how we deal.

As to remembering, we had more Deep Talking as he asked for what happened that day, so I told him from my point of view. And went into the rest of that week, people searching for him and all. And people flocking to the hospital as soon as word came that he was in the ICU.

After all that talking, and much amazement on his part. I think he suddenly realized how much he is loved by so many.

More questions came as he had questions for the staff, who looked up on his chart for him what all his head injuries were. Two fractured bones, two hematoma on two different lobes concussions on every other lobe in his brain, especially the frontal lobe.

And after the tears, and the questions came the smiles again. Real smiles. Not just for me, but when his friend C. came in with her mother, and the mother and I talked while he and C. talked; and we watched our kids and their faces as they talked and smiled, as both of them got back to where they once belonged, to steal a line from the Beatles.

So yeah, I think he’ll be okay with a little help from his friends (myself included) and some therapy to learn how to deal with stress.
elfwench: (Default)
One of the Deep Talks we had yesterday was about how he wanted to know about how he got to there, what triggered this because, “That’s so not like me.” And he asked what happened that day. So I told him, and he remembered about the car business, but not about his state of mind over it. “I did this about a car title? That’s stupid!” So we talked about sometimes when you are under a lot of stress, all it takes is one more thing to push you over the edge.

His big stress currently is that he just wants his life back. He wants to remember and to get his life back. I told him he will, but it will take time. I told him it was akin to having two broken legs and learning to swim again, can’t just jump back into the deep end, you have to start by wading in.

He took the poster board with the collage of pictures of him, both with and without his friends, in it. And pulled out the rest of the pictures and sorted through them, pulling out pictures of friends. “This is my life,” he said, “These people are my life, my friends, I want this back.” He even put up a picture of me, the one he took when we went to Cheeseburger in Paradise. I asked him if I was his friend, and he nodded sincerely and said, “Yes,” we both got choked up then.

Then we laughed when we noticed that the t-shirt he was wearing in several of the pictures had the No Smoking symbol on it, captioned with, “There are cooler ways to die.” Yes, we have a morbid sense of humor in our family, it’s how we deal.

As to remembering, we had more Deep Talking as he asked for what happened that day, so I told him from my point of view. And went into the rest of that week, people searching for him and all. And people flocking to the hospital as soon as word came that he was in the ICU.

After all that talking, and much amazement on his part. I think he suddenly realized how much he is loved by so many.

More questions came as he had questions for the staff, who looked up on his chart for him what all his head injuries were. Two fractured bones, two hematoma on two different lobes concussions on every other lobe in his brain, especially the frontal lobe.

And after the tears, and the questions came the smiles again. Real smiles. Not just for me, but when his friend C. came in with her mother, and the mother and I talked while he and C. talked; and we watched our kids and their faces as they talked and smiled, as both of them got back to where they once belonged, to steal a line from the Beatles.

So yeah, I think he’ll be okay with a little help from his friends (myself included) and some therapy to learn how to deal with stress.
elfwench: (Default)
I started out bright and early, and got to the bus stop to find out that there was some bus strike thing, and that the buses were running late on account of it. Normally I would stress over such things, but I decided that I would go with the flow on this one. Thankfully I got downtown and the #5 rolled up right after I got off of the #31. Normally I take the #10, but I didn't feel like waiting to see if the #10 would even show up. Both got me to the vicinity I needed to be in. *shrug*

Normally stuff like that used to be anxiety provoking for me, but after all this I've learned that some things just aren't worth getting worked up over. And I was just grateful to get to where I needed to be.

When I got to the ARC, Robert was away at an ENT appointment. The news from that is good, though. There's no physical reason for his voice to be so weak, there was no damage to his vocal cords and they do vibrate, he just needs to learn to use them again.

But, Robert was doing quite well walking on his own. He's having a pity party for himself because he wants to go home and have home and go to work and resume his life. I kept telling him the only way to go about that is to get with the program and do what they want him to do and quit going on about, "Just let me go home."

But he was in other ways seeming like his old self again, joking around and watching NASCAR. Which is an improvement over the sleeping constantly.

Aside from that, I ended up making 3 round trip visits between the Lockefield Village Building and the hospital proper, so I put on a lot of miles on these two legs and crutch. All because of trying to get the paperwork done to get the records sent to the insurance company handling the Short Term Disability. I went to the hospital, found out that Robert had to sign the paper himself, so I went back to the ARC, filled out the paperwork and had Robert sign it, then went back to the hospital, only I went out the wrong door and ended up having to walk all the way around the building to get to the side to head toward the hospital. Oh, no, they said rather snippishly once I got there, they needed the address filled out of who was to get it. So I trekked back to the ARC to find that the address of the place wasn't on any of the paperwork, had to call an 800-number to get that information. So I asked the social worker to do that. And I headed back out one more time to go back to the hospital, and then back to the ARC. Luckily, I went out the back door of the Lockefield Village Building that houses the ARC instead of the front door, and so I didn't have as far to walk in the steaming heat. This time the woman in the Patient Information room was a lot more congenial, now that I had it right.

Anyhow, it's been a day of aggravation, but it was good to see Robert looking and doing so much better. I just hope he stops with the arguing about the "I want to go home now," attitude and instead use that desire to go home to work harder. Though, aside from his Therapeutic Recreation, he did better today with the OT and PT - speech therapy time was spent at the ENT clinic, I do believe.
elfwench: (Default)
I started out bright and early, and got to the bus stop to find out that there was some bus strike thing, and that the buses were running late on account of it. Normally I would stress over such things, but I decided that I would go with the flow on this one. Thankfully I got downtown and the #5 rolled up right after I got off of the #31. Normally I take the #10, but I didn't feel like waiting to see if the #10 would even show up. Both got me to the vicinity I needed to be in. *shrug*

Normally stuff like that used to be anxiety provoking for me, but after all this I've learned that some things just aren't worth getting worked up over. And I was just grateful to get to where I needed to be.

When I got to the ARC, Robert was away at an ENT appointment. The news from that is good, though. There's no physical reason for his voice to be so weak, there was no damage to his vocal cords and they do vibrate, he just needs to learn to use them again.

But, Robert was doing quite well walking on his own. He's having a pity party for himself because he wants to go home and have home and go to work and resume his life. I kept telling him the only way to go about that is to get with the program and do what they want him to do and quit going on about, "Just let me go home."

But he was in other ways seeming like his old self again, joking around and watching NASCAR. Which is an improvement over the sleeping constantly.

Aside from that, I ended up making 3 round trip visits between the Lockefield Village Building and the hospital proper, so I put on a lot of miles on these two legs and crutch. All because of trying to get the paperwork done to get the records sent to the insurance company handling the Short Term Disability. I went to the hospital, found out that Robert had to sign the paper himself, so I went back to the ARC, filled out the paperwork and had Robert sign it, then went back to the hospital, only I went out the wrong door and ended up having to walk all the way around the building to get to the side to head toward the hospital. Oh, no, they said rather snippishly once I got there, they needed the address filled out of who was to get it. So I trekked back to the ARC to find that the address of the place wasn't on any of the paperwork, had to call an 800-number to get that information. So I asked the social worker to do that. And I headed back out one more time to go back to the hospital, and then back to the ARC. Luckily, I went out the back door of the Lockefield Village Building that houses the ARC instead of the front door, and so I didn't have as far to walk in the steaming heat. This time the woman in the Patient Information room was a lot more congenial, now that I had it right.

Anyhow, it's been a day of aggravation, but it was good to see Robert looking and doing so much better. I just hope he stops with the arguing about the "I want to go home now," attitude and instead use that desire to go home to work harder. Though, aside from his Therapeutic Recreation, he did better today with the OT and PT - speech therapy time was spent at the ENT clinic, I do believe.
elfwench: (Default)
Great...

Good news... Robert's Short Term Disability paperwork arrived, starting his short term disability on August 14. (which is a week after he disappeared, it was the day he was brought out of the coma ironically.

Bad news... One of the letters enclosed. It is entitled: Re: Insurance Benefits: Non-Eligibility for FMLA

The important part is:
Because you have not been employed with [Company Name] for one year, you are not eligible for FMLA benefits protection at this time. Accordingly your employer subsidized health coverage ended on August 13, 2007. However you may continue your health coverage at your own expense in accordance to COBRA regulations. Upon return from your leave of absence, your employer subsidized benefits will be returned in the same manner and at the same levels as provided when the leave began, without any new qualification period.
I'm going to talk to the Social Worker at the Acute Rehab Center and find out what can be done if anything, have her look at the paperwork and all.

I guess that this is another thing that I have to file in the "It will work out... somehow" bin for today.
elfwench: (Default)
Great...

Good news... Robert's Short Term Disability paperwork arrived, starting his short term disability on August 14. (which is a week after he disappeared, it was the day he was brought out of the coma ironically.

Bad news... One of the letters enclosed. It is entitled: Re: Insurance Benefits: Non-Eligibility for FMLA

The important part is:
Because you have not been employed with [Company Name] for one year, you are not eligible for FMLA benefits protection at this time. Accordingly your employer subsidized health coverage ended on August 13, 2007. However you may continue your health coverage at your own expense in accordance to COBRA regulations. Upon return from your leave of absence, your employer subsidized benefits will be returned in the same manner and at the same levels as provided when the leave began, without any new qualification period.
I'm going to talk to the Social Worker at the Acute Rehab Center and find out what can be done if anything, have her look at the paperwork and all.

I guess that this is another thing that I have to file in the "It will work out... somehow" bin for today.
elfwench: (Default)
Well, I took the bus out and got there before Robert started his daily therapy. He was a bit uncooperative, though and wanting to sleep. I told him that there was a big surprise in store for him, though to entice him through it. This was not a lie.

So he begrudgingly went through his physical therapy, therapeutic recreation (today it was playing a video game), speech therapy, and occupational therapy. He is able to walk with some assistance, and they had him walking all over the place. One of the things the physical therapist had him do was a kind of scavenger hunt where he had to do five things. Find a nurse and ask her for her signature, find a radio and turn it to a certain station, find a calendar, and circle today's date, find a plant and move it to the top of a microwave, a find a dog and walk it to a couch. So on the last one he found the therapy dog, a gorgeous male black lab named Tarma (which sounds female to me, but whatever!), and when they got to the couch they had Robert give him some commands and brush her out some as therapy.

Then, after all that, it was time to change his dressings, which meant a shower and debriding the wounds (removing the scabs and dead tissue) and then redressing them. He didn't want to do it because it would hurt. But I promised him that the surprise was a big one and would make it all worth it.

And it was. His friend J.'s dad had just got a new car to replace his Oldsmobile, and J's parents talked it over and agreed go give the Oldsmobile to Robert. This news came down the pike as J. was driving me home last night. I kept it a secret all day and J. told him tonight at dinner. He was overjoyed! Now he has something to look forward to.

I'm still worried about his mental state, though. But hoping that now having this will give him something to work toward will change his attitude. His anticipated date of release from the Acute Rehab Center is a week from Friday and it's very hopeful that he can make a full recovery. But they would like to suggest that he spend some time as a psychiatric in-patient after that because of his depression, but Robert will hear none of it. And I'm not going to force him against his will since he is 21 years old, though I would like him to consider outpatient therapy. I'll try talking more to him about it later.

But, for now it's late and I need to get some sleep. I'm feeling hopeful all around, though.
elfwench: (Default)
Well, I took the bus out and got there before Robert started his daily therapy. He was a bit uncooperative, though and wanting to sleep. I told him that there was a big surprise in store for him, though to entice him through it. This was not a lie.

So he begrudgingly went through his physical therapy, therapeutic recreation (today it was playing a video game), speech therapy, and occupational therapy. He is able to walk with some assistance, and they had him walking all over the place. One of the things the physical therapist had him do was a kind of scavenger hunt where he had to do five things. Find a nurse and ask her for her signature, find a radio and turn it to a certain station, find a calendar, and circle today's date, find a plant and move it to the top of a microwave, a find a dog and walk it to a couch. So on the last one he found the therapy dog, a gorgeous male black lab named Tarma (which sounds female to me, but whatever!), and when they got to the couch they had Robert give him some commands and brush her out some as therapy.

Then, after all that, it was time to change his dressings, which meant a shower and debriding the wounds (removing the scabs and dead tissue) and then redressing them. He didn't want to do it because it would hurt. But I promised him that the surprise was a big one and would make it all worth it.

And it was. His friend J.'s dad had just got a new car to replace his Oldsmobile, and J's parents talked it over and agreed go give the Oldsmobile to Robert. This news came down the pike as J. was driving me home last night. I kept it a secret all day and J. told him tonight at dinner. He was overjoyed! Now he has something to look forward to.

I'm still worried about his mental state, though. But hoping that now having this will give him something to work toward will change his attitude. His anticipated date of release from the Acute Rehab Center is a week from Friday and it's very hopeful that he can make a full recovery. But they would like to suggest that he spend some time as a psychiatric in-patient after that because of his depression, but Robert will hear none of it. And I'm not going to force him against his will since he is 21 years old, though I would like him to consider outpatient therapy. I'll try talking more to him about it later.

But, for now it's late and I need to get some sleep. I'm feeling hopeful all around, though.
elfwench: (Default)
I managed to get a ride out and a ride back to see Robert. And he is doing so much better than when I saw him this weekend! He's still feeling depressed, but he's starting to smile and joke around. And, better yet, he's walking around his room unassisted! And, he was smacking around his friend J. in a playful way.

And... I got another piece of good news on the way home from , that's going to make Robert's day. But Robert won't be told until tomorrow, so I won't spill the beans online until after he's been told since it's a surprise for him.

But can I just say, I feel so blessed right now. There are only two things that could make me any happier than I am right now, and both of them are out of my control. But I shall not worry about those and just enjoy the current blessed glee I feel at the moment along with the boost of faith tonight has given me.

Yes, it will all work out somehow.
elfwench: (Default)
I managed to get a ride out and a ride back to see Robert. And he is doing so much better than when I saw him this weekend! He's still feeling depressed, but he's starting to smile and joke around. And, better yet, he's walking around his room unassisted! And, he was smacking around his friend J. in a playful way.

And... I got another piece of good news on the way home from , that's going to make Robert's day. But Robert won't be told until tomorrow, so I won't spill the beans online until after he's been told since it's a surprise for him.

But can I just say, I feel so blessed right now. There are only two things that could make me any happier than I am right now, and both of them are out of my control. But I shall not worry about those and just enjoy the current blessed glee I feel at the moment along with the boost of faith tonight has given me.

Yes, it will all work out somehow.
elfwench: (Default)
I'm finally understanding the frustration that others feel when I'm depressed, because Robert is in a full blown depression and I'm at a loss to help him. The best answer I can get out of him is a shrug, and that's when he's not curled up on his side, facing the wall.

He wouldn't eat for his PCA, but I had the tray brought back in and insisted he eat some. Got him to drink his Ensure, and he gave up trying to eat when he took one shaky bite of mashed potatoes and said he was done, but he took a few more bites when I took the spoon and fed him some. I figured that getting food into him at this point was more important than feeding himself.

I keep telling him how much I love him and that we can get through anything together and that I'll do anything to help him. He says, "I know."

Tomorrow Alan, Robert's father, is coming over and we are going to clean out one of the bedrooms so that we can get it ready for Robert. I told Alan to bring me some of Robert's clothes and I'd wash them for him and bring him some of his own clothes.

Monday I need to call the HR lady at Rob's work and let her know I still haven't gotten the packet from the main office with the short term disability paperwork. I also need to call Bethany Village this week and see if I can get that application changed to a 2 bedroom apartment.
elfwench: (Default)
I'm finally understanding the frustration that others feel when I'm depressed, because Robert is in a full blown depression and I'm at a loss to help him. The best answer I can get out of him is a shrug, and that's when he's not curled up on his side, facing the wall.

He wouldn't eat for his PCA, but I had the tray brought back in and insisted he eat some. Got him to drink his Ensure, and he gave up trying to eat when he took one shaky bite of mashed potatoes and said he was done, but he took a few more bites when I took the spoon and fed him some. I figured that getting food into him at this point was more important than feeding himself.

I keep telling him how much I love him and that we can get through anything together and that I'll do anything to help him. He says, "I know."

Tomorrow Alan, Robert's father, is coming over and we are going to clean out one of the bedrooms so that we can get it ready for Robert. I told Alan to bring me some of Robert's clothes and I'd wash them for him and bring him some of his own clothes.

Monday I need to call the HR lady at Rob's work and let her know I still haven't gotten the packet from the main office with the short term disability paperwork. I also need to call Bethany Village this week and see if I can get that application changed to a 2 bedroom apartment.
elfwench: (Default)
Robert Update
Robert was moved up to Progressive ICU and now he's being moved to the Acute Rehabilitation Center (ARC), which is a very intensive program.

Today he was more aware, and as such more confused. He wondered what he'd spilled on his hands as he looked at the stains from the Betadine on his hands. He's not sure how he got to the hospital. But he knows he feels "Like shit."

He also is moving around a lot more, able to roll over with some help. Not very willing to accept help, though. His back looks terrible from what I could see where the bandages had moved some with his moving about. He also got his head bandages loosened, and so I saw the asphalt rash on the back of his head as well as the huge surgical scar on the back of his head. Needless to say, every time he flopped back on the bed, I cringed inwardly.

Every so often, though, a bit of Robert shined through and he'd give me a reassuring wink.

Baby Excitement
Tami waddled in late this morning to let me know that she thought her water might have broken, or at least sprung a small leak, and that she'd be on floor up on the 3rd floor getting checked out. This put me in a tizzy as I didn't know where to be at that time... up with my daughter or down tending to Robert's stuff as I waited to hear from the rehab place. I went up, but found that they already had carted her off somewhere and I'd have to wait to find out anything, so I went back downstairs.

Tami came in about 1:30 to say no, no baby today: false alarm. But for a few hours there I was definitely bibbling.

Exhaustion, and the Stupid Bus Driver
Exhaustion, physical and emotional, set in hard this afternoon. So since they have a personal attendant sitting with Robert today, I felt safe heading on home and so I left with Tami. Trying to heed everyone's advice and take care of myself. I made sure I wouldn't have to sign anything for the hospital or rehab facility, though, before I left. Tami treated me to a chai with soy milk - soy as I decided to be kind to my gut - from her work before we caught the bus.

We caught the Red Line back downtown, and Tami waited with me on the #31 before she headed to the bank. The buses lined up about four deep, with my #31 being the fourth in line. He opened the door and let people off as well as letting some on. So I felt safe getting on where he was and set my crutch up on the bus floor so I could get inside. And he shut the doors, with my crutch in it! I yelled at him and he opened the door and yelled at me to get off the bus, and I told him I was trying to get on! No, he told me, he had to pull up, that he couldn't let me on there. So I had to hurry to catch the bus at the front of the bus stop, having a good 20 yard jog. That was very Not Shiny and I don't understand why he did that.

I was very upset with the bus driver, but I kept quiet and sat down in the front seats like I usually do. I started to cry in spite of myself. Two stops up, the driver had me and some others move so that a woman in a wheelchair could ride the bus. I informed the people sitting across from me that someone would have to move from the seats across from me so I could sit down. An able-bodied man was sitting in those seats and had the nerve to tell me that there was a seat a few rows back. I gave him the look of death and he sighed heavily and moved and let me sit there.

The wheelchair lady was nice, though. I was just irritated at the idiot who felt I should be the one to move to a regular seat. I happen to sit in the front seats because of my poor balance.

So it was not a good bus ride, and it was all I could do not to cry as I walked home from the bus stop.

But, home I am now, and tired. I wanted to play some City of Heroes/Villains but I'm so tired, hurting, and emotionally ragged, trying hard not to beat myself up for being such a lousy wife and mother. So I'll be calling it an early night.
elfwench: (Default)
Robert Update
Robert was moved up to Progressive ICU and now he's being moved to the Acute Rehabilitation Center (ARC), which is a very intensive program.

Today he was more aware, and as such more confused. He wondered what he'd spilled on his hands as he looked at the stains from the Betadine on his hands. He's not sure how he got to the hospital. But he knows he feels "Like shit."

He also is moving around a lot more, able to roll over with some help. Not very willing to accept help, though. His back looks terrible from what I could see where the bandages had moved some with his moving about. He also got his head bandages loosened, and so I saw the asphalt rash on the back of his head as well as the huge surgical scar on the back of his head. Needless to say, every time he flopped back on the bed, I cringed inwardly.

Every so often, though, a bit of Robert shined through and he'd give me a reassuring wink.

Baby Excitement
Tami waddled in late this morning to let me know that she thought her water might have broken, or at least sprung a small leak, and that she'd be on floor up on the 3rd floor getting checked out. This put me in a tizzy as I didn't know where to be at that time... up with my daughter or down tending to Robert's stuff as I waited to hear from the rehab place. I went up, but found that they already had carted her off somewhere and I'd have to wait to find out anything, so I went back downstairs.

Tami came in about 1:30 to say no, no baby today: false alarm. But for a few hours there I was definitely bibbling.

Exhaustion, and the Stupid Bus Driver
Exhaustion, physical and emotional, set in hard this afternoon. So since they have a personal attendant sitting with Robert today, I felt safe heading on home and so I left with Tami. Trying to heed everyone's advice and take care of myself. I made sure I wouldn't have to sign anything for the hospital or rehab facility, though, before I left. Tami treated me to a chai with soy milk - soy as I decided to be kind to my gut - from her work before we caught the bus.

We caught the Red Line back downtown, and Tami waited with me on the #31 before she headed to the bank. The buses lined up about four deep, with my #31 being the fourth in line. He opened the door and let people off as well as letting some on. So I felt safe getting on where he was and set my crutch up on the bus floor so I could get inside. And he shut the doors, with my crutch in it! I yelled at him and he opened the door and yelled at me to get off the bus, and I told him I was trying to get on! No, he told me, he had to pull up, that he couldn't let me on there. So I had to hurry to catch the bus at the front of the bus stop, having a good 20 yard jog. That was very Not Shiny and I don't understand why he did that.

I was very upset with the bus driver, but I kept quiet and sat down in the front seats like I usually do. I started to cry in spite of myself. Two stops up, the driver had me and some others move so that a woman in a wheelchair could ride the bus. I informed the people sitting across from me that someone would have to move from the seats across from me so I could sit down. An able-bodied man was sitting in those seats and had the nerve to tell me that there was a seat a few rows back. I gave him the look of death and he sighed heavily and moved and let me sit there.

The wheelchair lady was nice, though. I was just irritated at the idiot who felt I should be the one to move to a regular seat. I happen to sit in the front seats because of my poor balance.

So it was not a good bus ride, and it was all I could do not to cry as I walked home from the bus stop.

But, home I am now, and tired. I wanted to play some City of Heroes/Villains but I'm so tired, hurting, and emotionally ragged, trying hard not to beat myself up for being such a lousy wife and mother. So I'll be calling it an early night.
elfwench: (Default)
Robert slept a lot today. Of course, he's been through hell and has physical therapy, respiratory therapy, and speech therapy every day as well as having the nurses from the burn unit pop in and change his dressings a couple times a day.. I'd be wanting to sleep, too.

So, he still fades in and out. And his voice sounds like he's been smoking four packs a day since he was born (note: he's a nonsmoker), but the nurses are amazed with his progress and calling it a miracle.

There's talk of trying to get him standing soon. But for today they had him sitting up in a cardiac chair, which turns out to be a convertible gurney, for lack of a better description. It can lay flat like a gurney or be put in a sitting position. He enjoyed that and didn't want to be put back in the bed.

A Psych. nurse (male) popped in, too, and asked him if he remembered jumping out of the car and what led him to do that. He shook his head, "No."

His swallowing is still weak, so he's not even allowed ice chips yet. But he's been taken off of the oxygen.

But, I just got a call from Alan, my 1st husband (Robert's father), that there's already orders written to move Robert to PICU (Progressive ICU). So Robert may be in a different room when I get there tomorrow.

Me? I'm doing a lot of the minor bedside care. Like when he needs his mouth suctioned out after a cough and stuff. I'm very tired, waiting on the sheets to dry so I can go to bed.
elfwench: (Default)
Robert slept a lot today. Of course, he's been through hell and has physical therapy, respiratory therapy, and speech therapy every day as well as having the nurses from the burn unit pop in and change his dressings a couple times a day.. I'd be wanting to sleep, too.

So, he still fades in and out. And his voice sounds like he's been smoking four packs a day since he was born (note: he's a nonsmoker), but the nurses are amazed with his progress and calling it a miracle.

There's talk of trying to get him standing soon. But for today they had him sitting up in a cardiac chair, which turns out to be a convertible gurney, for lack of a better description. It can lay flat like a gurney or be put in a sitting position. He enjoyed that and didn't want to be put back in the bed.

A Psych. nurse (male) popped in, too, and asked him if he remembered jumping out of the car and what led him to do that. He shook his head, "No."

His swallowing is still weak, so he's not even allowed ice chips yet. But he's been taken off of the oxygen.

But, I just got a call from Alan, my 1st husband (Robert's father), that there's already orders written to move Robert to PICU (Progressive ICU). So Robert may be in a different room when I get there tomorrow.

Me? I'm doing a lot of the minor bedside care. Like when he needs his mouth suctioned out after a cough and stuff. I'm very tired, waiting on the sheets to dry so I can go to bed.
elfwench: (Default)
I took the bus out to see Robert again today. He was in and out of it. Sometimes agitated. He was asking to see his roommate, asking about his cell phone, and his lease. Those were the three things he got most lively about. He was asking for [livejournal.com profile] lord_keeper, too.

His voice is very raspy and hard to understand. But what is intelligible is very good. When he coughs up junk, his mouth needs suctioned out, so he started coughing and I asked if he needed me to suck it out. He said, "No, it's not substantial enough," in a faint, raspy voice. The speech therapy person was pretty impressed with how well he was doing under the circumstances, though his swallow is still pretty weak. But he can follow directions and communicate, and knows where he is and who he is.

But, he wants to go home.

Physical therapist was also pleased with how he was doing. Wants to try him sitting up tomorrow. She said she was going to bring a cardiac chair up with her for that tomorrow. There's some talk about moving him to inpatient rehab soon, too.

He has learned that the pain pump will deliver unto him a dose of Dilaudid on demand once every 10 minutes, all he has to do is push the button.

He wants to move in with me, he said, wants us to live together and help each other.

Me, I'm relieved but still worried. He's so out of it still. I'm also quite exhausted. His friends are even commenting on how tired I look and how ragged my voice is now. But Robert's worth it.

Tami and her hubby showed up today, and they bought me lunch after visiting with Robert a while.

I'm sorry this is disjointed. I'm just so very tired. I need to wash some clothes and take care of the cats, do some picking up around the house, and eat something still. I wanted to play some CoX tonight, but I'm just too tired.
elfwench: (Default)
I took the bus out to see Robert again today. He was in and out of it. Sometimes agitated. He was asking to see his roommate, asking about his cell phone, and his lease. Those were the three things he got most lively about. He was asking for [livejournal.com profile] lord_keeper, too.

His voice is very raspy and hard to understand. But what is intelligible is very good. When he coughs up junk, his mouth needs suctioned out, so he started coughing and I asked if he needed me to suck it out. He said, "No, it's not substantial enough," in a faint, raspy voice. The speech therapy person was pretty impressed with how well he was doing under the circumstances, though his swallow is still pretty weak. But he can follow directions and communicate, and knows where he is and who he is.

But, he wants to go home.

Physical therapist was also pleased with how he was doing. Wants to try him sitting up tomorrow. She said she was going to bring a cardiac chair up with her for that tomorrow. There's some talk about moving him to inpatient rehab soon, too.

He has learned that the pain pump will deliver unto him a dose of Dilaudid on demand once every 10 minutes, all he has to do is push the button.

He wants to move in with me, he said, wants us to live together and help each other.

Me, I'm relieved but still worried. He's so out of it still. I'm also quite exhausted. His friends are even commenting on how tired I look and how ragged my voice is now. But Robert's worth it.

Tami and her hubby showed up today, and they bought me lunch after visiting with Robert a while.

I'm sorry this is disjointed. I'm just so very tired. I need to wash some clothes and take care of the cats, do some picking up around the house, and eat something still. I wanted to play some CoX tonight, but I'm just too tired.

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