elfwench: (Default)
On Sunday at church a woman at church with a walker sat behind me. She said, "I see that you are dealing with disability yourself," gesturing to my green forearm crutches that were leaning against the chair beside me.

I smiled and nodded in response and her next statement stunned me, especially being said in a place that is supposed to bring out the best in you. Though I don't fault her in the least for her honesty, and I well remember the time that I, too, was in that mindset.

"Don't you just hate it?"

My confusion and shock at that question must have shown on my face because she followed with, "Or do you?"

"No, not really," I told her, "It is what it is. I mean, yeah, it's difficult, but I don't hate it, in fact it's brought a lot of blessings along the way. For one thing, If it weren't for that, among other things, I probably wouldn't have found my way here to Unity."

Her expression softened and she nodded, and I could tell she had food for thought, so I left it at that.

And I spoke truthfully. Most of the time it just is what it is and there are many positive changes in my life that would not have happened had this not happened. I have been through my grieving process. But I am at a point that braces and crutches aiding my walking to me is no different than wearing my glasses to see clearly.

Still there are times that, in all honesty, it does get to me a bit. And, in particular, one aspect that still bleeds through and bothers me is the fact that it taxes my reserves, and a good day is followed by days when I just am wore out by the events of the day before. Today happens to be one of those days. Sunday I went to church. Yesterday I spent time with [livejournal.com profile] jarlina and her family. And today, I had to drag myself out of bed. And I know that there are things I need to do here, but I am running on empty.

I'm looking into trying to get an ultralight wheelchair, in particular a Quickie 2 (whether the original Quickie 2, the Quickie 2 HP, or the Quickie 2 Lite). I got a power chair last year, and had many mixed feelings on that transition, I was glad and yet I resisted using it to the extent that my doctor wants me to use it, using it more as my "car", plus the fact that it's not practical when you don't have a van with a ramp. But I've gotten to a point where I am emotionally ready to use an ultralight wheelchair, like the Quickie 2 (I don't have the upper body strength for a regular weight wheelchair) and I'm trying to find a way to get one. That way I could take it with me when going with friends in their cars. (Medicaid won't pay for a chair since I have the power chair... they fail to recognize that many disabled people have need for different mobility devices for different situations, like the fact that the power chair can't be transported in a regular car.) But I recognize the fact that I would have a lot more reserves if I were using a wheelchair more often, plus be a lot safer, which is my doctor's main issue since I fall a lot.

I don't know how I will be able to get one, but I have faith that will work out somehow I'm checking out various organizations, so far to no avail. MDA currently isn't paying for equipment as they've had fewer donations with the economy being as it is. So, my dear people, I'd love it if you could help out others like myself by donating to them. Hopefully, once they get more donations, they will be more inclined to start that program up again. If you know of a group that might help me, let me know, I'm all for brainstorming this.

I am also checking into eBay, etc. I've found some there. This is one of the cheapest of the size I need (It's hard to find them in the standard adult size, believe it or not, most are too wide or too skinny for my butt) And while it doesn't have anti-tippers nor, most likely, a seatbelt, those could be added easily enough. But so far I've not had the money for that, not even one going as cheaply as this one. But, it will work out somehow. As my minister reminds us all the time, "How" is none of my business.

But, it is what it is, and I'm okay with that. I may get frustrated at times, but really, it's just a thing. And with so much good stuff going on, I'm not going to drag myself down by focusing on this one difficulty. In fact, I just got called by Carla, and I'm going to a seminar tomorrow to learn about serving on the HEART Network. That call, and that opportunity, just made my day, and I am so looking forward to tomorrow.
elfwench: (Default)

Yes, I am here. There's just been very little to post as there's not been much happening. Not to say that I've not been busy with... stuff. Just that said stuff has not born fruit yet. And other than pursuing the... stuff... there's not a whole lot else to write about.

So yeah, it's 12:01 AM Saturday as I type this sentence, and I've yet to be to bed. Too busy perusing Match.com profiles. That's part of the... stuff... I was talking about. So far, many winks, a couple of creepy emails received and several nice emails sent out with only one reply so far, and that was to tell me that he'd just found someone. C'est la vie.

The other ...stuff... is that I'm trying to find a used Quickie 2 wheelchair at a bargain price  and funding for a Wijit driving and braking system. I wrote about that a couple of weeks ago. Click here to refresh your memories. And, here's a video of the thing being used by another person with Ataxia:

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/491qe2pCr2c?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/491qe2pCr2c?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

So I've contacted the Lions Club, Elks Club, Rotary Club, National Ataxia Foundation, and my MDA medical care coordinator to see if I could get around $2000 for a Wijit (It retails for twice that, but Brian Wattwood, when I spoke to him, was interested in selling me one that had been used for demonstration.). Neither the Lions, Elks, nor Rotarians responded in any manner. The National Ataxia Foundation said "We don't do that, we raise funds for research and awareness only." And MDA said, "With the economy the way it is, we don't help with the purchase of Durable Medical Equipment anymore."

Looking at eBay, getting a used Quickie 2 or 2HP wheelchair will be possible, once I have money that doesn't have to go to bills. I've also put a WANTED ad on my local Freecycle.

I'm firmly believing that this would an excellent thing for me. And I'll knock on doors til my knuckles bleed, and then keep on knocking with bloodied knuckles, if I have to. I believe it will happen. I think I hear someone walking to the door now even as I type. ;)

Moreover, Voc. Rehab will be sending me to Easter Seals Crossroads for my employment services, starting with the evaluation to see what I can do or be trained to do, etc. So that may be another venue for getting myself set up with the Wijit operated Quickie. Who knows? But, in any event, I'm excited about returning to Crossroads and potentially being able to find work.

If anyone else has any other bright ideas toward my accomplishing this goal, please share! I'm open to suggestions.

Anyway, I'm not going to worry about how it will be accomplished, I'm just putting it out there to the Universe and working toward it the best I know how.

In other news, Robert got a puppy. He's a black lab named Cash, after the original man in black, Johnny Cash. Sweet puppy, just turning 6 weeks old. I just tried uploading the picture, but I got a 500 error. I guess that was the extra picture thing that it was reminding me about a few months ago. Anyhow, the pic is on my Facebook wall here.

Robert is not so enamored with dealing with the puppy's poopies, but he knew the job was dangerous when he took it. Me, I love the dog. If I didn't already have three cats...

Oh, I'd love to have a man and a house and a dog in the back yard. Snuggling with my love on the couch in front of the TV, with the dog on the other side, his head resting in my lap, one of the cats curled up on top of the sofa and purring in my ear. That would be heaven to me!

Poor Magick, I can tell he's getting a day older. He was frisky as a kitten playing with Timmy and Sophie this morning. And then this afternoon I could hear him moaning in his sleep. He does that a lot. But then, he's 72 years old in cat years so, it's kind of expected, sadly.

Well, it's now 1:13 AM (I don't type as fast as I used to), so I think I'm going to go toddle down the hallway and slide under the covers. 

Later, guys!

June 2013

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